P is for Patience
Without patience, there is no opportunity for connection.
Patience is the foundation of effective parenting.
It’s what separates the parents who guide from the parents who control. It’s the difference between reacting from old wounds and responding with wisdom. Patience doesn’t just happen; it’s built from within.
Most parents don’t lack patience because their kids are difficult.
They lack patience because they are still carrying their own childhood pain.
When you haven’t healed, your child’s struggles can feel like personal attacks. Their whining feels like disrespect.
Their defiance feels like a challenge to your authority. Their meltdowns feel like they’re intentionally trying to push you over the edge. But they aren’t. They’re just kids, still figuring out how to exist in an overwhelming and challenging world.
Everything changes when you do the work to meet your own emotional needs instead of expecting your child to do it for you. You stop needing them to behave a certain way so that you can feel in control. You stop seeing their struggles as burdens and making their emotions about you.
Healing yourself teaches you patience, not just with your kids, but with yourself. You realize that mistakes are a natural part of growth.
That you don’t have to be the perfect parent to be a great one.
Raising a child isn’t about eliminating every problem. It’s about guiding them through the hard moments with love and consistency.
It goes beyond just overcoming obstacles and getting results. It’s about raising the bar and operating with higher standards than previous generations.
The past can’t be changed, but its grip on you can. When you break free from the patterns you were raised with, you create a new standard for your family. One built on patience instead of frustration, understanding instead of fear, and connection instead of control.
Patience allows us to respond instead of react. They don’t snap at their child for having big emotions.
They don’t demand perfection. They don’t take everything personally. Instead, they lead with calm, even when things are chaotic. They model emotional regulation, showing their kids what it looks like to handle stress without losing control. They build trust, making it safe for their children to express themselves without fear of punishment or harsh consequences.
Over the years, I saw countless parents in my office with their children, each encounter filled with impatience and aggression. Threats, bribes, and degradation were common tactics to make children listen, and all of these parents didn’t even realize how poorly they were treating them.
These children were seen as annoying, disruptive, and, worst of all, unwanted. That all changed one morning when a father came in with his son, around three or four years old.
Unlike the other kids, this boy was calm, free of the nervous energy I usually saw.
His father was equally at ease, speaking kindly and patiently to him. When it was time to clean up the books and toys the boy was playing with, the father explained gently, without hurry or anger, and the boy responded with understanding.
There were no outbursts, no threats, just a peaceful exchange.
In those 30 minutes, this father taught me more about parenting than I had learned from all the others. His patience and respect for his son was an example of leadership. I had never seen a dad display such power and grace simultaneously. I don’t remember the man’s name, but his patience changed my parenting perspective forever.
This is how you break cycles.
This is how you raise kids who don’t waste time recovering from their childhood.
Most parents react from their unresolved wounds. Patience stops that cycle and creates a home where discipline is about guidance, not punishment, and respect goes both ways. Kids learn to handle their emotions because they’ve seen you handle yours.
Do you want your child to grow up calm, confident, and emotionally stable?
It starts with you.
It starts with patience.
And patience begins with healing.
- Anthony
Patience Is a Key to Unlocking Peaceful Parenting
When I first became a father, I thought leadership in the home was about “having everything under control.”
I wanted to keep everything in order so everyone was cared for and safe.
I thought everyone in my family would flourish if I could manage everything regarding health, mindset, finances, routines, and responsibilities.
But I learned, sometimes the hard way, that being a good father isn’t just about overseeing things from a distance. It’s about being in the trenches, present, and most importantly, patient.
The family didn’t have to do everything my way for things to run best, they had to find their way, with my guiding influence, towards their best habits and approaches to their personal problems and opportunities.
Tension, frustration, and breakdowns in communication creep in when we expect too much, too fast. When we force our perspectives, rush conversations, or hurry our kids through emotions, we create resistance instead of resolution.
Patience Starts with You
If we want our kids to learn patience, we must model it first.
That means resisting the urge to react immediately when something goes wrong.
It means slowing down, taking a breath, and meeting our kids where they are—rather than where we wish they’d be
Pause before reacting
Let them struggle
Listen longer than you want to
Patience fosters an environment where kids feel heard, respected, and understood; it should be obvious that they will be much more likely to listen to us in return when they perceive that.
The Cornerstone of Peaceful Parenting
One of the biggest clashes with my parents happened when I felt like I wasn’t being heard. I was angry, frustrated, and it ended in a physical confrontation. And that’s what impatience does, it turns misunderstandings into full-blown battles.
When we shut down conversations with a quick “Because I said so” or “Just do what I say”, we’re not leading - we’re dictating.
And dictators breed rebellion.
I’m not saying let kids call the shots.
They need structure.
They need direction.
But they also need to feel like their thoughts matter.
We get cooperation instead of defiance when we slow down, explain the why, hear them out, and give them space to process.
Patience Builds Trust
Our kids are going to face tough choices, ones that will define who they become.
Who do we want them to turn to?
They'll seek someone else if we have been impatient, quick to judge, slow to listen, and dismissive of their feelings, and that “someone else” may not have their best interests in mind the wy you would but you’ll never get the shotm because you’ve been an impatient asshole their whole lives…
If you want your children to turn to you, be someone who helps when needed, not one who scolds and corrects.
By practicing patience today, we build a foundation of trust that will last through their teen years and into adulthood. They’ll know they can come to us, not just when things are good, but especially when things go wrong.
When we slow down, listen, and give our kids the space to grow, we don’t just raise connected and confident children, we raise thoughtful, resilient, and trusting adults.
Parenting isn’t a sprint.
Parenting is a long, steady journey; the more patient we are, the more peaceful the road will be.
– Zac